Transformation Story
Sarah Tilsley’s Transformation Story
Was I really that scared little girl I once was?
It seems like a lifetime ago, like I’m talking about someone else you know? But that was me, seems unreal to think about it now.
I was constantly scared, full of anxiety and felt completely broken. The truth was I wasn’t broken, nobody is broken, but that doesn’t stop you from feeling like you are does it?
I had sat in that space for so long that I thought that was where I was supposed to be, that was just life for me, but I was so wrong.
I had no friends, no money, no life, and no confidence. I was buried underneath so much shit my mind was telling me, and these words that I had told myself were worse than anyone had ever told me, and that was saying something after the years of bullying I received growing up.
I used to do the school run in constant panic, trying and failing to hold back the tears, and not show my son how scared I was. I was having several major panic attacks a day, every sound, door knock, and person who walked or drove past the house sent me into another panic attack. It got so bad that when hubby was off work sick, I couldn’t leave the house alone, and I made him come with me daily.
I was terrified of people, that’s why, it didn’t matter if it was in person, or online. I had bad experiences with people over the years, and it destroyed me, and any confidence I had. I was bullied and abandoned by every friend I ever had. It knocked my confidence, made me hate myself, and want to be anyone other than me.
I hid away from the world for year’s, and then after I became a mum, I realised that I couldn’t do that anymore. I couldn’t let him down, myself, I would let myself down many times over, but him, I could never let down.
There was one problem though, I had no confidence, severe anxiety boarding on agoraphobia, no idea who I was, no purpose, no direction, and no light and spent the days crying when I wasn’t being watched by anyone.
I decided I had to do something about it, but I didn’t do it for myself, not at first. It was for my son and my husband, for us as a family. I couldn’t do it for myself at first, because at that point I didn’t see that I was worth trying for, but they were. They deserved amazing experiences, fun, nice things and a mum and wife that wasn’t scared of her own shadow.
It was actually a friend in the network marketing industry that got me started on my journey. The industry has such bad press, but it was seeing my friend mention that it helped her anxiety, which made me jump and I took a massive leap into it, and that changed my life forever. It wasn’t money, in fact, I wasn’t getting any sales, it was the mindset work, the law of attraction, the personal development and all the things I was doing to push myself out of my comfort zone. It was then I started to see my own self worth, started to want to try for myself too.
The next biggest reason for my major transformation happened after I went to my first big networking meeting. I hadn’t long started my mindset work, and I met my coach at the time at this meeting. She said she’d been dying to meet me, I remember her hugging me at the time and that’s when I froze.
I couldn’t look at her, speak to her, nothing. I vowed that day that I would never be so rude again, and that the next time I saw her would be totally different. It was that decision that was the point of no return for me, I could never be the same again after that.
I worked heavily on myself during the next 9 months, I did so much work on my confidence, and my mindset and the next time I went to a meeting, I saw her, walked right up to her, hugged her spoke to her and had a selfie with her.
It was around then I had also been drawn to a coaching course, I debated over it with myself, and finally asked the universe for a sign, went to bed and when I next looked at the clock it was 2:22 am and I knew it was my sign and bought the course then and there, but it was until over a year after I finished that course, that I did anything with it.
It was a huge change, I knew that if I did take this coaching thing seriously I would have to go into business alone, and that scared me. I was used to having the cheer leaders behind me, doing it all alone, was different.
I never stopped working on myself, building confidence, and uncovering more about who I really was and my purpose, once I realised what that was, I finally started my business, so by 5 pm on 18th December 2018 I had bought my domain, and started building it out.
It may have took me a few years to get to the point I had the confidence to actually do what I loved to, to have complete faith that I had what it takes to bring my purpose to the world, but what matters is that I was still taking actions, networking on myself.
I didn’t know at the time it was going to expand to what it is today, I started off reading tarot and the rest just happened. It all started by me learning who I was, what my purpose was and embracing all that I am, even my psychic gifts.
It only feels like the beginning, like I’ve just scratched the surface, but I have a huge purpose to fulfil, and I know that if anyone can do it, I can, after all, look at what I’ve accomplished so far, and if I can do it, I know you can too.
I am here to help you embrace who you are, to be authentic and comfortable in your own skin. To have that inner freedom to be yourself and not worried about fitting in, or what anyone else thinks.
I want to help you acknowledge your uniqueness, be kind to yourself and understand that you are whole and complete as you are. You don’t need fixing you know, there is nothing wrong with you, and you are most definitely not broken.
It’s ok to be yourself, to love yourself and to accept everything that you are, as well as your opinions. Everyone’s opinion is valid, it’s your inner truth, and that’s ok.
It’s time to express who you are, and be completely yourself.
Other Things Mentioned
In this podcast episode I mentioned a poem I wrote. You can also read that here, in A face in the crowd; A Poem by Sarah Tilsley