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How to Gain Confidence in Yourself


Hi, and welcome to the constantly confident podcast by me, Sarah Tilsley. This podcast is all about transforming aspiring spiritual business owners lives by building confidence and clarity. No more hiding your true essence. We are focused on showing the world the truth and saying this is who I am, and I will not be quiet anymore. So we will talk about being a spiritually open business owner, including card readings, personal experiences, tips on the ups and downs of building confidence and clarity in themselves. And growing a spiritual business. Let’s have an open and honest discussion about building confidence and clarity and all things about starting a spiritual business.

Hi, and welcome to episode two of the consciously confident podcast. I am Sarah Tilsley. And I am here today to talk about gaining confidence in yourself. So confidence is always something that going up that I looked at others and think, Wow, they’re so confident. They’re amazing. I wish I could be like, ah, but I always thought that I couldn’t, I always thought that I would always be that shy, quiet girl, the one that had no confidence, the one that was scared of everything. And then one day, I thought, You know what, fuck it, I cannot do this anymore. I cannot be the person I am anymore. I know that I meant for more. And if I can see this amazing confidence in people, and these amazing tweets, think, Wow, that’s incredible. I can see that in them. Then I can create that too. I can be like that too. I can be as confident as I always saw my mother being. And I know that I can be like that. Because she’s like that.

So if you sit near lesson thinking, I’ll never be confident like they are. I’ll never be that person. That’s just not me. I’m here to tell you that you can. It’s not going to be easy. I’m not going to sit here and say yes, building confidence is easy. You can do it. It hasn’t. I did it several times. Before it stuck. I gained confidence not as much as I have now. But I gained enough confidence to get by in life, then lost it or gained it again lost it all. And that was the was the cycle that I was going through. Do you recognise that in yourself? And confidence. To me confidence is being okay with who you are being happy in who you are. It’s being able to hold your head up high wherever you are been able to speak clearly who you are and show the world the real you. It’s about being okay being you being okay, knowing that not everybody is going to like who you are. Not everybody is going to like you. That’s a fact everyone’s not going to like you. You don’t like everyone. Why should they like you? This is a valid question, right? Not everybody’s going to like you. And that’s okay. Knowing that you’re okay. With not everybody liking you with people not liking you with people signed in you to be the most annoying person on the planet, maybe that’s okay. That’s perfectly fine. Not everybody is going to like you. And you need to be okay with that.

What I always I always thought before I gain the conference, I always thought

people were thinking bad things about me, people are looking at me funny ways. What are they thinking? They’re saying bad things or saying nasty things that her talking about the way I look, they’re talking about this, that and the other. And then cut to a point I realised, actually, no, those are not that are thinking about me at all. They haven’t had two thoughts about me. Just a month, person and supermarket walking around. They’re most interested in what they want to buy, they met as they’re most interested in their task at hand, what they want to buy from the supermarket, where they’re going, what they’re doing, they’re most interested in their fucking sells them thought about you at all. And it took me a while to realise that that not everybody is going around judging everybody else. Most people are just getting on with a life. And just like we are right, we go around. And we don’t think about the people who are walking past. We don’t look at the We don’t judge them. We don’t pay much attention to them in the slightest. Unless you’re having a conversation with them.

That was sort of a turning point that I realised that nobody, if I’m not paying attention to everybody else, and judging them, why should they be judging me and paying attention to me, and having the left focus on me?

So why am I worried? So how do you actually gain confidence? How do you actually check change from having little to no confidence,

to being confident in who you are? To being confident in yourself, because there’s many types of confidence. But the confidence in yourself is, to me one of the most important things a person can do to work on their confidence to gain confidence in themselves. Because gaining confidence to me has changed my life. It’s changed how I view my life, it changed the things that I do. I walk around now I do daily tasks or do things on my own. That I could never in a million years have done before I gain my confidence. So how do you do this? It’s not going to be easy. I’m not gonna say you’re just going to suddenly wake up one day and you’ll be confident you won’t. It’s going to take time. It’s building, it’s growing. It’s like working on your muscles. It’s like going to the gym. I don’t go to the gym and expect suddenly have a six pack after one session.

I mean, you might wish it it’s gonna happen overworld it takes time they take time to build, they take time to grow.

And so does your confidence. Confidence is like a muscle and you grow it, you learn to develop it, you work on it, and it’s something that will continue. I still work on my confidence. I still do the things that I did at the beginning to help me to build my confidence up. Sometimes it’s unconscious, sometimes I have to be a bit more conscious about it and refocus again and real excited again and think and reflect again on if I’m being my most confident self there’s a few things you can do. You can work on your mindset and look at the thoughts that you’re having in your head. The thoughts that you’re things that you’re telling yourself about who you are the things that you’re saying it in your head about yourself is something that you can catch, you can stop them. And you can change it takes time to really notice these voices in your head, sometimes it takes time to see, to hear what’s going on, or what’s really going on inside your head. And I know some of the voices in your head are probably worse than anybody has ever said to you. But these voices can change, you can stop these voices, you can change these voices. And I think you working on them voices in your head, and that the things that you’re telling yourself, about your about who you are about your loops about your personality about any part of you is really important for Toluca, that, it’s really important to look at. And to notice, so you can catch them. Once you once you’ve got that thought in your head, you can physically say stop. I’m not thinking this way anymore. I choose to think this way instead. And then change that thought, say something positive about yourself. You can look in the mirror to do that. If that’s too much right now. Just say it to yourself, in your head or out loud. So you may catch a thought of, oh, God, I’m so fat. Not that there’s anything wrong with being fat. But it’s one of the things that I catch myself doing every now and again, right. And I catch myself saying it every now and again. And I catch that thought and think no stop, I do not want to sit in that way anymore. That is not our choose to continue thinking. Therefore,

I am going to thought this I’m going to say is that. And I’m going to say I have an amazing figure. Or I love my body. Or I love my curves. I love my curves is one of the things I say more and I see Tina look at myself and think my belly is really fat. And then I look at myself in the mirror.

Which is something I couldn’t really do before. And I look at myself and Malika was over the moon say, You know what, I’ve got amazing curves. And that can really help you to switch things up. Doesn’t have to be about weight. It can be about anything that you’re thinking. And isn’t that you catch yourself, stop it, rephrase it, reformat the thoughts into something positive and continue as the same thing in the brain where you can’t say something positive and negative at the same time. You can’t think something really bad and have something positive apples together. So and the more you say these things, the more you rephrase that you

will learn to open override the negative voices you will learn to override them so they don’t show up anymore.

And I think it’s really important for you to rephase some of these negative thoughts and override them. So you can continue to think better about yourself and thinking better about yourself is really important for gaining your confidence

so make an effort, a conscious effort to catch those thoughts, reframe those thoughts. And get yourself thinking a bit more positively again about who you are about yourself. And when you go out and you go out to Public. Instead of looking at the floor, covering yourself up covering yourself up, instead of making yourself look smaller and more inconspicuous. Stand up straight ahead, hold high, shoulders back. Look at people in the eyes, smile at people say hi to people

don’t be afraid to stand tall. That was so fucking difficult for me. That was really difficult. I’m not gonna lie. That was one of the toughest things I did.

And these, this is something that I think was really pivotal, Pivotal, Pivotal. It’s something that was really important part of my journey with confidence. Because I forced myself to do these things which pushed myself out of my comfort zone.

And yes, it scared the living daylights out of me. Yes, I over analysed it in my head 1,000,001 times

afterwards. And it’s also something that became easier. Over time. I will talk to people around zip market. Just the other day. Somebody was putting their stuff on the belt, she picked up her divider and pull it on while she was still putting the stuff on the belts. And I don’t like putting my stuff on the belt until until I know they’ve got enough room. Because happened to me where people have started putting their stuff on the ballot and have not had enough room to put my stuff on. And then no one can go anywhere. Right? can’t check out if I’ve got stuff off my trolley full of stuff still. So this is this is when as I said, I looked at her and I said a fish. Oh, sure you’ve got enough room there. She said Yeah, too. I continued, I would never have done that before. I went to the doctors yesterday, on my own. What I have done that several years ago, whatever work I wouldn’t have shared my story. From episode two. You may have heard that I was scared to do the school that I had to have help to do the school one because I couldn’t do it alone. So if you can do this, even a little bit at a time, really stand tall, head out I smile at people talk to people say hi to people. act confident. Act as if act as if you are competent. And it will eventually become second nature. It’s going to be hard as fuck it really well. It really well. I’m not going to sugarcoat this, it could be hard. But it’s absolutely worth every single effort and every single step it takes for you to do this the third step I’ve already mentioned, is push yourself out of your comfort zone. Really push yourself out of your comfort zone don’t have to be too far. So you’re so you’re completely scared and want to curl up in a ball in the cupboard out of the way. But what you want to do is to push yourself slightly so it scares you. Perhaps go outside and put the bins out if that’s not what you’ve ever done before. Perhaps instead of hiding in your house out the way until you see your neighbour go in from across the street. Go outside anyway. Perhaps you get in the car and drive to the supermarket and just sit in the car park. Perhaps you’re feeling confident enough to push yourself at that little bit further and actually step foot in the supermarket or walk in. Just want to walk in the entrance. Maybe you just want to Walk straight back out again. But doing things, little things that can push yourself out of your comfort zone is important. And this for me started off during the school one where my husband was off sick for a while. Therefore, I forced him to come with me. And then when he had to go about work again, when it was time for him to go back work again, I knew I had to start to go to do a little bit more, I had to start trying to do this on my own. So I used to do it on my own. And it was something simple out there, that started me off.

And something like, go into a supermarket, I’d go into the supermarket and start my shopping alone. Knowing that I’ve got somebody coming to join me in supermarket.

So push yourself out of your comfort zones. Don’t stick in your comfort zone, growth does not happen in your comfort zone. And as much as it’s frightening. As scary as it is. It’s something that you need to do to push yourself to start little bit. And slowly but surely, you will push yourself that little bit further, do that little bit more.

And the final thing for today, because I don’t want to overwhelm you overwhelm you with too much stuff. And I think the tasks I’ve given you will really help you. They may seem simple, but they really do help. This final one is saying affirmations to yourself. So these are I am I am statements where you can say to yourself on a daily basis multiple times a day, that if you say them to yourself with confidence and keep going with them you you will start to believe that they’re true. And you will start to become those things. But remember, your bones, your brain can’t process negative words. So you can’t say to yourself, I am oh, what can I say? You can’t say to yourself, I am no longer in debt. Because what your mind is going to say is going to hear is debt. And that’s not what you want. That’s not what we’re trying to manifest here. Right? What you need to say is things like I am confident, I am secure and who I am. I am okay with who I am. I am a kind person. Whatever affirmations you feel the need to say, things are simple things that you can repeat without looking at what the words are things that you’ve made yourself that you feel comfortable saying they’re in your words. And say these affirmations to yourself anytime you can add it multiple times a day as much as you can think about it, say these affirmations and keep going. Keep doing these tasks. Keep pushing yourself. Create a journal on this process. Write it down, write how you want to feel in the present tense. So copy copying another step actually is writing this process down writing your journal as the present tense. So writing your your debt the day that you want to have if he were the most confident person, so I gave up today, and today shopping day. My partner’s at work and I’m going to get I’m getting up. I’m going to go out and I’m gonna go to Starbucks. I’m going to have some breakfast and a coffee. Then I’m going to go to the supermarket and I’m going to go and I’m going to go and do my weekly shop and I’m going to do that I’m going to take it home I’m on packet, and I’m going to go, I’m going to go in on packet and get ready for the day. And then I’m going to go out and I’m going to, I’m going to take a walk in the park on the way to picking my kids up from school, and I go to the school, I’m going to pick them pick them up, I’m going to hold my note we’re not going to I am picking them up, and I am holding my head up Hi. I’m saying hi to this to them to the other parents in the school yard. And I am feeling really good about myself. He got the idea. So saying, writing something like that down writing the process down, writing your thoughts down, get them get it all down in your journal which can help you clear your head but also helps you with your process that you are gathered gathering these things. So you can call it back at a later stage on your journey. And see no I can’t do I can’t believe I was ever that person. I can’t and I think these things can really benefit and benefit you and help you on your confidence journey. Thank you for listening to episode two of the consciously confident podcast. I will see you in the next episode

thank you for watching this episode of The consciously competent podcast the best day and I’ll see you in the next episode.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Sarah Tilsley

Sarah Tilsley

Sarah Tilsley is a Spiritual Confidence Alchemist who uses spiritual, mindset & energy techniques to help aspiring spiritual business owners build confidence to
bring their biggest, wildest dreams to life.

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Sarah Tilsley Spiritual Coach
hi! I'm Sarah Tilsley

Sarah Tilsley is a spiritual confidence alchemist, mum, scoliosis and chronic pain warrior.  She’s psychic, and helps transform spiritual business owners lives by building confidence

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