Introducing Authenticity & Purpose
Hi, in today’s episode, I’m going to talk about being your authentic self in alignment with your purpose. We’ve talked a bit about your authentic self and about self reflection, and about, does everyone have a purpose, and I feel like to talk to continue on with the flow of the topics that we’re discussing right now. There is a kind of connection that needs to be made between your authentic self and your purpose.
How I discovered the link
I kind of discovered both around about the same time, I discovered my authentic self, and my purpose in my 30s. It’s not something I really looked at in my 20s, for the longest time. I thought that I was just living the life that I was meant to live, that I was always meant to struggle, that I was always meant to be having issues, that I always meant to feel the way I did, I thought that there was something wrong with me. There wasn’t, it’s just that in your 20s, you get so carried away with who other people want you to be with, at least for me, people pleasing, trying to be somebody else, trying to be somebody else for the benefit of other people, and trying to do what I thought the people would like and want from me, to benefit them, to make them happy. I was a big people pleaser. I just wanted to make other people happy. I still want to make other people happy, but now, no longer at the expense of me and who I am.
It wasn’t until my 30s I’m felt like all I’ve done, all my life is trying to please everyone else, try to fit in with everyone else, all that did was made me miserable, made me depressed, made me be so full of anxiety that I couldn’t see a way through. It took me hitting rock bottom to actually think hang on, if all this is making me miserable, what was actually going to make me feel good? What did I actually want? And while I come to it, who the fuck am I? Because I didn’t know. Someone asked me to tell them about me, I couldn’t tell them. I didn’t know who I was And I think a lot of people deal with that. I don’t know whether that I was just late on with that, or it’s when people get into their 30s that they start to really discover who they are, and they start to show up in the world as them and just not give a fuck what anyone else thinks about it.
I missed out on all that self discovery stuff as a teen
As a teenager, and during the time where you’d expect people to really discover who they are. I had a lot of health issues going on. I was in and out of hospital because of my back. I was in and out of the dentist because of my teeth. I didn’t have a teenage life. I didn’t go out experimenting, I didn’t go out drinking. I couldn’t do any of that because I couldn’t leave the house. I was stuck in the house for many years. Partly to do with the bullying I was I experienced throughout most of my schooling life, but also partly to do with my health. And the issue with my back in the most vital parts of my teenage life. Most teenagers go out to have fun and push the boundaries, I couldn’t do any of that. I did sort of do a bit more of that in my 20s, but I was still very much in a way that I felt like I couldn’t really do what I wanted, because I didn’t want to upset anybody else, and I got the first taste of really pushing the boundaries a little bit and therefore upsetting people around me when I quit university. I quit university because it wasn’t for me, because the course I was doing wasn’t aligned with who I am, wasn’t aligned with what I wanted, so I quit. And yes, that upset my family, because they saw me as somebody who was going to finish university. They saw me as somebody in their family, who would be the only one to go through university.
I was miserable being someone else
I did the normal jobs thing, I went out. I got a family, I did all the normal things that people do, but never really stepped into my true power, never really stepped into who I was, until my 30s when I was like, all of this is making me miserable. I’ve got the family I want, but what I really wanted to start my own business, what I really want is to be the spiritual person, the why really want is to be the entrepreneur, be that business owner, be that one that changes lives, and I wanted to do it in my way and that’s really the start of it when I started to really look into being who I am.
It’s by deciding that at that point, that I had to do something and I couldn’t stay where I was, I couldn’t stay living the life I was in and that threw me into this massive transformation of going from the girl with little to no confidence, I like to joke that if you could have less than zero confidence, that would be me, I’d be a minus figures, and that’s what I was like. I changed from that and not feeling worthy, not feeling good enough, to being confident being who I am.
I’ve been the business of my dreams, helping people, reading Tarot, being a spiritual business owner and having the confidence to stand up and say this is who I am. This is what I do that here’s what I like to do, and I don’t give a fuck if you like it or not, because I’m going to continue to be me. That was a huge transformation, that took me several years to go through. Once i’d figured out who I was finding my purpose just became easy. It became a lot easier because I knew who I was. I knew that I liked watching horror films. I liked reading horror books. Stephen King is my favourite author. I’ve got some Dean Koontz so anything horror related, I quite like. I’m into that all that horror stuff on my Netflix channel, my bookshelf is full Stephen King. I like all the spiritual stuff too, like stuff to do with ghosts, poltergeists, You know, all those programmes, the haunted ones, haunted. places and, and all of that I love all of that, and actually, I’m quite psychic. For many years I had the spiritual side of me, I hid the fact that I liked all this horror that I did, like, more of the stuff that people would think, Oh, that’s a bit weird. And oh, she to spirit, she’s crazy, or she reads tarot, oh my god, that is evil. I present as quite sweet, innocent, calm. I present as this gentle person, which, I am, and then they see all this horror stuff is a bit weird, a bit violent, a bit strange of the thing, they don’t really realise that, actually, the two can be the two aren’t mutually exclusive. You can be sweet and innocent and like all the gory blood, and you don’t have to be one or the other, being sweet, innocent, likeable. lovable doesn’t mean I’m gonna have to sit and watch the Rom Com stuff.
So being my authentic self really helps. Once I figured out who I was what I liked finding my purpose was easy. I did a lot of journaling around the time, I did a lot of working out what my purpose was going back into my childhood, looking at the big changes in my life and seeing what led me to where, I am now, from where I was, which was a huge part of it. When you are looking at a purpose, it might not be the obvious answer always that there is the obvious answer. You might not see the obvious answer. It was always there when I looked back and I looked into everything. I looked into it first and I was like, this doesn’t even seem to be adding up too much, and then I looked at it a few more times and they see that things fir in order. They are actually pinpointing towards my purpose all along. I sat down and thinking and I realised that all of this pinpoint into one thing and that’s tarot reading, spirituality, all of that stuff that people are thinking a bit weird a bit odd a bit evil a bit gory, a bit. A bit strange, a bit woowoo that was me. That was what I like to do. That was what I was pointing towards. And this is why I started this podcast because I don’t think that this the spirituality and talking to spirit and being psychic and reading Tarot. None of that is evil or bad or wrong. None of that should have a stigma around it and there seems to still be a stigma around it. There’s a lot more openness about spirituality around YouTube, around Facebook, around Instagram, around TikTok and on all the platforms. I see a lot more openness about it but there’s still people out there that think it’s a bit we will a bit weird, a bit strange thing that you’re a bit crazy.
If you say it’s more talk to spirit, and I want you to change that and make it normal for people to be open about spirituality. For people not to be scared about being who they are. And once I started being open about being who I am, and sharing more of me And being authentic to me, I gained better boundaries. Because I knew who I was, I knew what my opinions were, I knew what I’d done for them what I didn’t and I gained boundaries because of that. When I did, I lost the people around me that benefited off me not having any boundaries. People who I thought were friends, that actually were just exploiting my lack of boundaries. Once I gained boundaries, they realised that they couldn’t push their boundaries, they left, which is fair enough for if the people leave, they’re not meant for you.
Be who you are
Now, I’m open to being who I am, and sharing who I am and be more me, I saw the link in what what I was looking at, for my purpose, and sort of all that in black on white and thinking oh Fuck, that’s where it led to all along. Why didn’t I see that earlier. I believe that we see these things when we’re meant to see them, that I didn’t see earlier because I wasn’t meant to see it earlier, because I had a lot of learning to do, I had a lot of transformation to go through to get to that point, without me going through that transformation, without me going through the shit I’ve been through, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I wouldn’t be able to help other people get from where they are to where they want to be and to be their authentic self, to live their purpose to figure out their purpose, and to introduce more spirituality into their lives and not be afraid to tell people.
I realised that by being who I thought people wanted me to be, people disliked me anyway. So might as well just be who I am, and if people dislike me, they can be disliked me for who I am.
So being your authentic self is something that goes hand in hand with finding your purpose, and you can figure out what your authentic self is, and then figure out your purpose and learn to integrate that into your everyday life. You don’t have to be somebody else to fit it, that actually by being you, you’re more likely to fit in, in the right places. You’ll be happier for it.